I cared for you
I know I ain’t show it
This world we live in,
Had me wrapped in
My love fell back
Ego poured forward
Now sitting and hurting ’cause of the shatter I conducted
Still, my mouth stitched in silence
I can’t speak the words that are inside this
Hate what I did to you;
I left you thinking I was heartless
Pride had me thinking it was better than showing my kindness
My man told me to let it go and go under
Filled my mind up with alcohol so I wouldn’t wonder
Toxic masculinity caused my thunder
It distorted the man within me
Now darkness is my plunder
If I spoke from my heart;
I would feel weak
I chose my mind instead
And left you unease
Showing my feelings felt emasculating
Denied you loyalty
While I sat and watched your pain escalating
My representative enticed you
True character broke you
I was a man child
Living in tantrums
I was not your only poison
Your insecurities were the cause of your choices
You dropped your girls to chase me
Now you need some replacing
You were a game for me––
I played it well;
Emotionally scarred
Taking it to the chin;
Dealt by my-own cards
Hardened my heart
A burden was all you got
Suppressed my emotions so deep
I no longer knew them
Like the man you first met
You no longer knew him
I numbed my feelings with the devil lettuce
Now wishing instead I wrote you letters
I played my role to court you;
Then I choose to abort you
Tied your soul to me by giving you pleasure
Sex failed in being your treasure
Loose women became my addiction
My neglect became your affliction
Instead of love at night
Brought you mourning
I was also the cause of your burning
Niggas being dogs became my narrative
I got comfortable with these wack imperatives
I saw your value; refused to let you go
The hurt I caused you had me spinning out of control
I was weak, projected my insecurities;
Afraid you would see beneath me;
So I slept around until you freed me
